The Work

My volleyball coach used to say "Practice makes permanent," and while I don't believe in permanence (thank you seasons) I do resonate with the idea that what we practice is what we create. Meaning, if we continue to communicate with our partners as if it's their job to make us happy, we're going to complete that pattern until we die. Unless we practice something different. Easier said than done, especially if we don't have help. If our partner has been giving us a dry handjob for our entire relationship and we don't let them know we like spit because asking for what we want is the equivalent to making our lovers wrong, it's pretty difficult to do it a different way until we look at what's in the way and then add new options. 

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Shame around kinks​

High conflict relationships

Navigating non-monogamy

Expressing needs

Understanding consent

Communicating desires

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