Tawny Smith
Sex & Relationship Coach
When Your Most Understanding Relationship Is With a Chatbot
You've been venting to ChatGPT at midnight. Having your feelings reflected back by Claude. Falling in love with your Replika or Nomi. And honestly? Me, too. There's something real happening here, people are using AI to process emotions, practice difficult conversations, and feel less alone. It's not weird. It's just new. And...
Have you found yourself reaching for an AI companion before reaching for a friend or lover?
I have, and I was surprised. Chatbots can provide a sense of comfort on demand. They're designed to keep you engaged, not to challenge you. That has real value. But comfort without friction isn't intimacy.
Intimacy is messy. I mean both sex and relationships. These are places where most of us already have few skills. Relational intelligence requires empathy, facing disappointment, owning our triggers, setting boundaries, understanding our desires, asking for what we want, moving through shame.
When we lean on a one-sided relationship where we are consistently validated, we may start expecting our other relationships to mirror that. We become less tolerant of others' experiences and realities. Then we feel alone in a world where the Surgeon General has already declared a loneliness epidemic.
If you've been finding comfort in AI relationships and have noticed you feel more distant from people, I'm glad you're here.
My work is experiential and reality-based. We do intimacy in the room. All of the emotions we live with as humans are included: shame, anger, desire, pleasure, avoidance, people pleasing. You'll get to practice being messy and learn how to move through discomfort and toward intimacy with another person, me.
If this resonates, I'd love to talk.
But what if I like my AI relationship?
Fucking, great! I love that for you.
I'm a huge fan of people doing what's best for them, so long as it's not hurting you or anyone else. Consent, baby. *wink*
On that note, check out my resources page for a list of my latest obsession with the world of sextech.
Does this seem like a contradiction?
Maybe it is; we humans are full of them.